One of the worst things in my opinion in today’s culture is the lack of commitment. It seems to me that a lot of people give up on their marriages too easily. We make our vows out of tradition not out of their true meaning. I have to give my wife a lot of credit. There have been a lot of things that could have caused her to quit a long time ago. A lot of women would see porn use by their husband as enough of a reason to divorce. My controlling ways were plenty of reasons too. And other stuff. She did what she thought she had to–she shoved it deep down and moved on. She kept doing what she thought she had to do as a good wife including regular sex with me. This did not come without a cost. It certainly hardened her heart for me.
I give myself some credit too. When feeling unhappy with the way things were going I staid. I see how much she is hurting and how far I have to go to get her heart back. I am doing everything I can to change and not just for her. I will be a much better person if I can make these changes stick. I could easily say that I will just leave and find someone new. I want to make it work because of all our shared history. I want to make it work because of our kids. I want it to work for financial reasons! I want it to work because I love her and am still attracted to her. I am not staying because of oneitus. I know I could find someone new. Not to brag but I still have a lot of desirable attributes left even if I am 42. I want to believe that I can keep a commitment even in the face of major headwinds.