Oneitus is the concept that you will never find someone like the person you are with, that they are unique and irreplaceable. This is a very destructive belief. It is something I have struggled with for a long time. It makes you give up yourself. It is a factor in creating neediness and making you clingy. I have felt that way about my wife. No more. I want to be with her and I want everything to work out in the end. We have been together for a long time and have experienced so much together. I want it for my children. This does mean I have given up at all. I am still doing everything I can to save my marriage. But I will no longer sit here in despair scared about the future. If things don’t work out I will survive. I will still have my children. I will still have some of my friends. I may find someone else down the road but even if I don’t I have a life worth living. I think eventually I could be happy for my wife if she found someone new that made her happy. Maybe if I keep telling myself this I might believe it!