I have been doing well during the separation for the most part.  I have had to deal with a lot of fear–fear that she will want to extend the separation and eventually divorce.  It is very hard to accept responsibility for being the cause of this mess.  I am coming to a new place in my thinking.  I have to accept that she may not want to continue this relationship but I am letting go of this fear.  I think it would be sinful on her part to end it.  I have faith in her that she does not want to do this.  She might rationalize that  I caused it, it was my fault, and that I was unfaithful by using porn.  I would disagree with that and could walk away with my head held high.  I have done everything I can to change.  I can be forgiven by God and be clean.  I can lean on God and he can carry me through this.


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