Do you have a favorite fantasy?  Do you know what my fantasy is?  No, nothing about the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders.  I fantasize about having a wife who is into me.  Not some drone who worships at my feet, not at all.  I just want a wife who desires me and needs me.  I want a wife who is willing to do the things that I am willing to do for her.  Someone who is affectionate and openly shows that she loves me.  I want a wife who wants to spend time together doing things and is willing to find common interests.  A wife who is open sexually and spends time to learn a little bit.  It has to be poisonous to think this way.  I know I should be thankful for what I have.  I should be thankful she has been faithful, loyal, a good mother, a good caretaker of the home, a hard worker at her job.  So here I am, finding myself estatic when I get touched at all.  My biggest fear is I will fix all the things that have made it difficult for her to love me and nothing will change.  I guess I can’t expect to change direction after travelling in the same rut for 20 years.


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