I can’t keep it straight. I keep screwing up. My wife is deeply hurt because I am upset about our relationship. I know how I want things to be but I am not giving enough space to allow her to breathe right now. She needs time to recover. I, on the other hand, feel awful. I want a loving relationship where I am given what I feel I need. So my quandry is learning to not get what I need and want in hopes that someday I will get it if I just back off. It is just so hard when that person is laying right there in bed with you and you crave for them to touch you–not because they care or to because you need it–but because they love you and desire to touch you. I guess should look at all this and realize that I am going to grow because of this experience. I am worried my heart will grow cold for my wife throughout these times but I have to survive.