Are you a needy husband? Ever wonder how your wife sees things? My wife said she was not very affectionate because I would try to sexualize every touch. This how I imagine the wife of high drive/needy husband sees things:
Husband gives backrub / He wants sex
Husband cleans house / He wants sex
Husband gives hug / He wants sex
Husband looks at me weird / He wants sex
You have to learn to decouple most of your actions from expectations. If you do something and expect something in return then you are doing it for the wrong reasons. Do them because you think they need to be done. If your wife is not pulling her weight because you are supplicating you have to make a change.