One of the things that has driven my neediness is fear. I worried about everything. What if she was around a man that is better than me, how could she resist? She is going on a trip, who is she going to be around? Are her friends leading her away from me? What if her boss falls for her, I mean how could he not? I have been afraid she will find someone better and leave me. I was scared of losing her. How could I ever hope to find someone like her again? Do you want to look back over a lifetime and see all the energy you wasted worrying about things that never came true?
The truth we must face is that no one is perfect. She might find someone else but I must trust her. I also need to know that if I should lose her I can find someone again and even if I don’t I can survive on my own. You can too. I love my wife and I think she is special but I don’t think she is the only one there could ever be for me. Thinking this way is called oneitus.
Part of my fears stem from my own physical condition. I must face facts that I have let myself get out of shape and this has caused a ramp up of my insecurity. So what do I do? I must do what I can to feel better about myself which includes losing weight and working out. She will notice.
Face your fears and don’t let them rule you.