What kind of daily communication do you have with your spouse? Do you call, text, and IM excessively when your spouse is at work too? I used to call occasionally just to talk or IM from time to time but my wife has gotten much busier with her job. I have learned to back off quite a bit but it is still a struggle. As my wife put in so many words “how can I be hungry when food is always there?” That is one of the secrets in transforming from a needy spouse to a healthy one. You must create space and distance to allow hunger to develop. Stop calling, texting, and IM’ing. Let your spouse initiate. Do not respond immediately when they do initiate. It may take a while for them to initiate so be prepared to wait it out. You can do it.